The Silent Yes.

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-Rupi Kaur

I should preface this post by saying *warning this posts contains explicit content that some readers may find offensive* because it actually does. But more than that, I know there might be family friends, friends or potentially ex-boyfriends reading, and that my honesty will make them feel uncomfortable and for that I can only warn them, but I can’t apologise. Saying sorry implies that I’ve done something wrong, and I know being truthful for the sake of something greater, is never a wrong doing. Read more ›

2017- A Perfectly Imperfect Year.

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Christmas Eve, 2017-

‘Some people are like that. They need to make the same mistake 10 times to learn a lesson. Other people only need to do it once. Everyone is different.’

That one golden nugget from my sister-in-laws mouth, was all the confirmation that I needed to realise I was one of those destructive lesson-learning types of people. Read more ›

When It’s Not Them, It’s You.


Mural by Millo

I wrote a few blog posts about love-related things, and no sooner had I posted them I found myself quickly reverting them to a draft. Why you may ask? It’s because these posts in all of their ‘profoundness’, seemed to pit everyone else as the source of the problem and it didn’t address the person that really needed a few wise words directed at them. Read more ›

Growing Pains.


No references of the eye patch..but you get the idea.

When you go to school, the first social construct you’re made aware of is the art of fitting in. For six-year-old Maria that was made particularly hard thanks to my optometrist, who made me wear an eye patch over my one lazy eye (+ round metal glasses). I could have turned it into a cool pirate-related thing and got the six-year-old boys onside, but unfortunately the eye patch was made entirely out of tissues and sticky tape, thanks to my thrifty Mum. I didn’t get made fun of but I felt very different, and it kick-started the whole journey of self-awareness that we all have to begin sooner or later. Read more ›

Swim Good.

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Photo of me mid cry for your own personal reference.

For a  really really long time now (each of my family members will attest to this), I have talked about moving away. Brisbane as much as I appreciate it’s laid-back vibe and overall amazing weather, had outgrown me a bit and it became time to start looking for a pair of big girl pants to change in to.

So the first day I landed I Melbourne, it surprised me that I burst into tears on three separate occasions. The first instance was when I lost the piece of paper that contained my wifi password on it, and that I was specifically told by reception not to lose as they wouldn’t issue another one. Somehow between reception and one floor above that, I lost that God damn piece of paper. And so I did what any mature 27-year-old would do, and proceeded to go to my room and cry. Read more ›

My Weight Should Not Be Your Concern


‘Look at your legs’

‘Just don’t lose anymore weight, ok?’

I could hear the concern in her voice as she said it, and as a regular customer at the cafe I work at, I know she really meant no harm.

But her words stuck with me, as well as everyone else’s who had commented that I looked thinner recently.

Truthfully, it was not an intentional weight loss, as had been my first serious diet at 20 that spiralled into a seven year eating disorder.

 Back then, I had tried to lose unnecessary weight, and restricted myself of food so much that I developed a binge eating disorder.

Read more ›

My Mati- Why It’s OK Not To Be OK


Arachova, Greece DEC 2016.

In today’s online world, it seems that in order to measure ‘success’ it has to be visible to others. Whether it’s a certain amount of followers, a fitness goal or maybe an overseas move, if it isn’t shared openly, somehow it’s deemed less valid. Every now and then I like to go off the grid whereby I either deactivate my Facebook for a little while, or I stop looking at Instagram every few minutes.Maybe I could stand to use social media differently, but I can’t help but feel bombarded by the hundreds of different messages I receive everyday via my news feed. It often leaves the window to greener pastures wide open, and one can’t help but compare their life choices to the one’s made in the images they see. Read more ›

When The Nice Guy Wins

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There is a misconception going around, that nice guys always finish last. These are the kind of guys that carefully take into consideration how a girl feels, usually being the friend first before they show any kind of interest.

And it’s a tricky place to be in, because usually they are the sensitive type, not likely to puff out their chest and think with their penis. So naturally, as women, we tend to look past them and stick to what we know, focusing our attention on the ones that deserve it least. Read more ›

My Mati- Into The Fire

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Camp fire, our rad accommodation and Jen reflecting out into the fog.

Last weekend, I spent some time away from the city and in the wilderness with my two gal pals. Truth be told, I have a love-hate relationship with city life. On one hand, I love and crave the energy that the buzz of a city brings, while a big part of me is easily overwhelmed by too much of it. As a sensitive soul, I constantly read that nature is where I should be dwelling in my free time. Some of my fondest memories overseas were just of me walking through green paths and being surrounded by trees and not much else. Nature has the ability to provide in abundance by doing very little, whilst big cities even small ones like Brisbane, are often demanding and draining. Read more ›

My Mati- Why Blue Is the Warmest And Coldest Colour


Venus after Botticelli by Yin Xin and blended with my hand because I like the colour of my nail polish and it’s sort of relevant.

The colour blue is calming, often reminding us of places we’ve been that make us feel still and at ease. Whether facing the sea, looking up at the sky or maybe sitting in a painted room, it soothes the soul instantly. There’s a darker side to the coolness of blue however, an aloofness that doesn’t have to be seen. We can feel the sharp, crisp sting of this calming hue, all the while mistaking it for tranquility. You see I love the colour blue, I just hate to feel it as deeply as I do. Read more ›