Ellipsis

I don’t know what is, call is a creative slump, or just a plain-old slump in general, but I haven’t felt overly expressive lately.

I’ve drafted a few blog posts and while they seem decent enough to share and as cathartic as writing is normally for me, these don’t seem to really be doing it.

And then when I was listening to some unwind 00s playlist on Spotify today, Sarah Blasko sung it sweetly for me. I’ve been grappling with writing lately and the idea of myself, and the thought that maybe I have grown out of this mode of expression. Which to be honest, is hard to admit because I thought it defined me in a big enough way that I would surely ‘do something’ with it.

Like a majority of my creative endeavours, it ebs and flows, and overall I haven’t found that thing that sticks to the point of feeling so passionate about it, that I always make the time.

Photography? Cool, but nah.

Video making? Cool, but nah not really.

And writing just fit into all of those in-between moments as a light at the end of an incomplete and inconsistent tunnel.

I know life isn’t as simple as finding your thing as many Instagram bios will have us believe, because sometimes we have a few things. And often enough, there isn’t a timeline in which to get there.

But damnit, not having a solid vision a a creative person can really make you feel down and out, because to a lot of us that is our purpose. If we aren’t learning, creating or feeling inspired in some way, it’s like a light is switched off. We don’t have the capacity to burn as brightly as we did before.

I won’t call this a throwing in the towel moment, but I definitely feel confused as to what  to what it is I bring to the table creatively anymore. I’m not too sure of who Maria is and what she has to say.

So yes, I’ll let Sarah Blasko take it away.

I don’t want another lover
So don’t keep holding out your hands
There’s no room beside me
I’m not looking for romance
Say I’ll be here, I’ll be here
But there’s no way you’d understand

All I want
All I want
All I want
When I don’t even know myself

I don’t want another partner
So don’t try and break the spell
I can’t even understand me
So don’t think that you can help
When I say things and see things
That’s no way on earth to tell

What I want
What I want
What I want
‘Cause I don’t even know myself

No one wants to be lonely
But what am I to do
I’m just trying to be honest
I don’t want to hurt you too
When I’ll be there, I’ll be there
I know I sound confused

But all I want
All I want
All I want
All I want

All I want
See all I want
All I want

Is to one day come to know myself…

 

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