‘A real man just can’t deny..’

a keys

The one and only Alicia Keys back in the days of lace-up fly denim. (via this website)

Alicia Keys wrote a song about it, Drake has rapped about it..

A woman’s worth, is anything but a simple concept.For one thing, we’re told continuously that how we value ourselves is a guide-book for how others will.

But then there are conflicting situations thrown in to the mix, whereby a woman is also told that her value is determined by how she acts, as though her worth is assigned.

Sleep with someone, don’t sleep with someone the choice is yours, but the outcome isn’t.

It’s hard to know then, not only how to act, but also if how you’re behaving is because it’s genuinely what you feel or if it’s expected of you.

In my last post, I discussed the idea of self-improvement and how this process works while dating, and if it could. What I ultimately decided that it was a matter of finding someone who understands and appreciates that you are a work in process.

Self-worth on the other side of the scale is so deeply personal, that it doesn’t seem quite right to let another person chime in on that process.

Because in my mind, knowing what you are worth, means not needing another person to validate you in some way. It just is what it is and it’s valuable because you took your own time and your own way to get there.

Like self-growth, it changes and it ebbs and flows and it means something different at different times in your life.

But meeting someone, and have them hold up their own cracked mirror and tell you that this is who you are, is the kind of unwanted appraisal that needs to be left at the door.

No matter who the person is, what they look like or how ‘good’ you look together, YOU set the tone for how much you are worth.

If this isn’t easily recognised from the get go or this special someone needs further explanation, then they aren’t worthy of a strong woman.

Knowing who you are and what you want, contrary to popular belief does not make you a bitch.

For far too long, a certain level of insecurity had made it entirely too possible for dudes to sweep in and get what they want. They make it seem OK, to lower the bar because in their experience this is what has worked.

If you recognise a pattern in your relationships whereby you are being disappointed time and time again, maybe it’s time to re-evaluate what you expect and what you deserve.

This isn’t a call for pitchforks and torches, nor is it a reason for a long list of ellaborate demands.

All I’m saying, in the simplest of terms is please don’t fall for anyone who fails to recognise your worth.

Like A keys said, a real man knows a real woman when he sees her.

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