There is a misconception going around, that nice guys always finish last. These are the kind of guys that carefully take into consideration how a girl feels, usually being the friend first before they show any kind of interest.
And it’s a tricky place to be in, because usually they are the sensitive type, not likely to puff out their chest and think with their penis. So naturally, as women, we tend to look past them and stick to what we know, focusing our attention on the ones that deserve it least.These kind of guys, know that they have to do very little to get to get us to look their way, because after all they know very well that being the asshole works in their favour. We feed on their lack of interest, eagerly checking our phones for a reply or trying to de-code their erratic behaviour, thinking that maybe there is a method to all of the madness.
Well, I’m here to tell you straight, that there no method. The reason why there seems to be a larger ratio of bad guys out there, is because we have let far too many of them get away with unacceptable behaviour. We make it ok to not text back for a few days, to be impolite to our friends or treat us as though we’re their play-thing, available at their convenience.
I’m saying this from a place of experience, because I too have pushed many nice guys away for the sake of a fleeting moment. I have allowed chemistry to take precedence over substance, trying to turn lust into a relationship. And because it became a pattern, I was slapped in the face many times by my choices, forgetting how much it hurt the first time.
As I get older though, I realise that I simply don’t have the energy for it anymore. I don’t want to play games and wonder if the person I’m seeing is interested in me or not, I’m done with the mystery of it all. Because what these not-so-nice guys do, is make the whole experience a lot harder than it should be. And what I’ve recently come to find, is that when it’s right, it feels so damn easy.
After many years of bad dating experiences, and scar tissue left on my heart, I am finally allowing myself to welcome the nice guy into my life. He is gentle, introduces me to his friends without a second thought, and always asks me ‘What are you thinking’? He wants to watch the documentaries I tell him about, read the words I write on my blog and never leaves me feeling insecure. I think back to when I passed on the nice guy, wishing him well and knowing he would get what he truly deserved one day.
Instead of finding out the hard way, it’s time to realise that you deserve this kind of person as much as they deserve you. So while it seems as though from time to time, the nice guy might float to the back, it is undeniable that eventually when the time is right they always get what they deserve and come first.