Even though the hype has died down, I thought I would praise Frank and his latest album Blonde in my own way. Truthfully, I’ve heard mixed responses from different people, many who are disappointed that it didn’t have the same upbeat sound as Channel Orange. The man’s a lyrical genius though and I believe that Blonde speaks so clearly and so poetically to his experiences in love and life. It’s the kind of stuff you can listen to over and over and actually need to in order to really understand the meaning behind each song. So what I’ve done is picked a few of my favourite lines and will relate them back to my own personal love stories.
Arm around my shoulder so I could tell
How much I meant to you…meant it sincere back then
We had time to kill back then
You ain’t a kid no more
We’ll never be those kids again
I could hate you now
It’s quite alright to hate me now
When we both know that deep down
The feeling still deep down is good
This reminds me of the young love that you experience, whereby you really fall for someone and the circumstances make things so much more simple. Somehow, things change and you become adults, only to realise that you don’t make sense together all grown up. I fell in love with a boy when I was 21, and I know deep down that it’s not likely that we’ll both experience the same thing twice. It’s a shame though because we learnt our separate lessons apart from each other, and even though I appreciate him for it all these years later, I wish I could have been that care-free girl at 21.
We occasionally talk now and then, but we’re in totally different places in life and I can’t feel bad about that. Certain loves have places in our life for a period of time, and it’s not our job to hold on to it, but instead to let go and see if it can transcend beyond that moment.
I, first time I done saw you
You text nothing like you look
Here’s to the gay bar you took me to
Here’s when I realized you talk so much, more than I do
I, it’s highlights when I was convinced
That it isn’t much more it’s so not you
I know you don’t need me right now
And to you it’s just a late night out
Frank is talking about being set up on a blind date in this song, and we all know what that equates to in the modern dating world..Tinder.
Look, I would like to put my Tinder life behind me once and for all, but it happened (I even logged on last week) and most of the time I seem to learn some valuable lessons from it. I log on because of curiosity and I ended up deleting it because of a lack of mystery. Even when you can see a capsule collection of someone’s life and maybe a clever antidote, most of the time it doesn’t add up in real life. There is no mystery to it, most of the time in fact, it’s pretty clear. The reality is that most of the time these dudes don’t really need you at the moment, they’re just looking for a late night out.
I will say though, despite my dislike of Tinder I do have a new approach to dating in real life. The point is not to get it right on the first date and be swept off your feet, the point is to be open and leave room to be surprised. Know what you are looking for and also know that it’s ok to have periods of time when you don’t want to look for anything at all. You don’t need to go on app to figure it out the hard way though.
I’m sure we’re taller in another dimension
You say we’re small and not worth the mention
You’re tired of movin’, your body’s achin’
We could vacay, there’s places to go
Clearly this isn’t all that there is
Can’t take what’s been given
But we’re so okay here, we’re doing fine
Primal and naked
You dream of walls that hold us in prison
It’s just a skull, least that’s what they call it
And we’re free to roam
Oh holiday romance. I’m not sure if that’s what he was eluding to with this track, or maybe it was something long-distance, but that’s what this it reminds me of. There’s something about the ease of being away from your surroundings, that allow you to approach things with less caution than usual. I believe it’s why that when on holiday, or when meeting someone with whom you know will be in your life temporarily, it just feels more exciting. You’re more impulsive with your feelings and without the need to label things, you can fall into this extreme level of comfort. The hard part comes when you’re forced to part and only made to realise what it meant, after you have time to piece it together. That’s why making a connection even if it’s short-lived and letting it go, can be just as painful as going through a breakup. I seem to often have mini romances, and even though it would nice to have something be more permanent, I’m always grateful for the amazing people I meet.
White Ferrari is about those small, special moments that many of us have to simply let go of. At the end of the day though, if something is meant to surpass the holiday romance phase, the two of you will figure out a way to do it.
I will always love you how I do
Let go of a prayer for ya
Just a sweet word
The table is prepared for you
Wishing you godspeed, glory
There will be mountains you won’t move
Still I’ll always be there for you
How I do
I let go of my claim on you, it’s a free world
You look down on where you came from sometimes
But you’ll have this place to call home, always
Godspeed is an ode to all the people I’ve dated, really liked and sometimes failed horribly with. I definitely didn’t love all of those people, but I genuinely wish them happiness, prosperity and all of that good ISH. What we have to do in order to really be at peace, is let go of our claim on people, because even if it’s made legal you don’t own anyone. For the first time in a long long time, I feel very free and at ease with the fact that I don’t hold any attachment to a particular person. It’s taken some apologising and even a late-night e-mail to Spain, but I tried to rectify some of the wrongs that I had committed over the past few years. I don’t wish anything had played out any different to what it did, as all of those experiences have played such a valuable role in how I now look at myself and love.